By Lucine Kasbarian
In recent years, the radical left hasn’t missed a single opportunity to scold everyday Americans who don’t subscribe to wokeness, an ideology that smugly brands itself as the vanguard of social justice. And much of that scolding, however preposterous, is also humorless.
When woke orthodoxy’s penchant for cancellation, boycotts and blacklisting is deservedly parodied by the public, it becomes clear that “The Woke just can’t take a joke.”
Since March is Humorists are Artists Month, what better way to celebrate that comedy still thrives in our polarized America than with a roundup of books and games that parody wokeism?
The author takes clever and cornball gags from the proverbial Great American Joke Book (“What kinds of exercises do lazy people do? Diddly squats.”) and ruins them by furnishing humorless answers that special snowflakes would consider their sacred duty to broadcast (“This is blatant body shaming. Check your unconscious biases.”)
After the author gives woke skunks at the joke garden party their place in the sun to rant, the original punchline appears underneath each entry.
“The Little Book of Woke Jokes” is a suitable whoopee cushion substitute to leave on the chair of any intolerant, moralizing coworker.
Welcome to Wokelandia, a card game (self-published; PG-13; for 3-10 players) that’s “Made in the USA because China isn’t Woke enough.” The object is to “become the new Monarch of Non-specified Gender to rule the land of Wokelandia with wisdom, grace and inclusivity.” But who is most qualified to lead? That’s what Wokelandia will determine when the winner creates a new woke identity and reaches 100 Oppression Points. Players use “Action Cards” such as “Virtue Signal” (one card reads: “Fake a hate crime!”) and “Micro-Aggression” (“I’m offended! You said ‘my body my choice’ but you were talking about vaccines!”).
We also find “Identity Cards for the Oppressed,” broken down into Race (“You’re not a slave anymore, but you still have to vote Democrat.”); Gender (“We can’t define it, but it’s much better than being a man.”); Sexual Orientation (“Much better than straight but not nearly as good as trans.”); Religion (“You don’t believe in God … and you hate Him.”); Politics (“It’s great you like abortion, but have you thrown a brick through a window yet? Do better.”), and Class (“Housing is a right, rent is a capitalist oppression.”).
Wokelandia impudently reminds players that woke justice is arbitrary and that there is no end to the genuflection expected from the so-called basket of deplorables. Just like in the woke universe, card players are targeted transgressors who must grovel, virtue signal and pay penance into a bottomless pit of remorse. Fun for the whole family.
“Woke: A Guide to Social Justice” (Constable/ Little Brown, U.K.; 150 pages) is the brainchild of Titiana McGrath, the pen name of Northern Irish playwright and political satirist Andrew Doyle.
In this tightly written spoof, Titiana is a “radical intersectionalist poet committed to feminism, social justice and armed peaceful protest.” She is a millennial icon on the forefront of online activism and the live slam-poetry scene. In this part-journal, part-guide, Titiana sanctimoniously lectures readers about just how wrong they are about everything and suggests how they can become more like her. Among other nuggets, we learn that “satire has long been a façade for spreading hate”; “anyone who defends free speech is a crypto-fascist”; “gender is a fabrication but also the most essential aspect of your self-identity;” and that “you are not a true feminist unless you go to protests dressed like a massive c**t.” We are also treated to a collection of Titiana’s pretentious poetry (Rated R), written in post-modernist psycho-babble. A dazzling debut. (Note: There are references to British politics and culture that may escape some North American readers.)
“Woke Fragility” by the Tired Moderate (self-published; 105 pages) is the satirical field manual intended to sway the moderate in your life over to the altar of woke. Here you will receive woke wisdom in 30 chapters containing contradictory grievances and irrational techniques to address problematic issues. (The word “problematic,” a shibboleth used by the Woke Police as a form of threat, gets its own entry.) We are reminded that Cancel Culture is “both non-existent and poetic justice”; “Tolerance is for bigots”; and that “Science is marred by tools such as logic and consistency.”
Furthermore, the Tired Moderate advises us that using air horns and pulled fire alarms to silence people is a form of debate; that universities teach you what (and not how) to think; the “treat others as you would like to be treated” idiom can be interpreted as an invite to pedophilia; and that, apparently, it is not the woke’s job to create a safe and prosperous replacement for so-called White Supremacist America today. (It is only their job to tear down what exists.) A chapter on the fate of comedy in the hands of the woke mafia closes this charming volume. (Note: “Woke Fragility” contains a few grammar and spelling gaffes an editor can easily fix when a major publisher decides to republish this deserving work.)
Capitalizing on the flood of titles on the market for the burgeoning woke activist, “My First Little Book of Intersectional Activism” (Titiana McGrath; Quercus Books/U.K.; 167 pages) parodies history’s so-called great pioneers of social justice while also carrying on the tradition of Peter Schweizer’s “Do As I Say, Not As I Do: Profiles in Liberal Hypocrisy.”
Among the profiled 24 virtuous grandstanders are terrorist Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi (“an austere religious scholar”); exploited drag-kid Desmond is Amazing (“a rainbow of positivity”); Aspie-as-shield-against-criticism Greta Thunberg (patron saint of the Church of Climate Change); Twitter censor billionaire Jack Dorsey (#StayWoke); sexual predator Jessica/Jonathan Yaniv (suing beauticians unwilling to wax “her” male private parts for transphobic discrimination); victim industry tycoon Meghan Markle (gender equality warrior); and crisis-actor Jussie Smollett (“a proud, gay black man”).
Sprinkled throughout are moralizing screeds such as “How to Win an Argument,” wherein the author recommends using ad hominem attacks; syllogisms in place of logic; indecipherable woke terminology; and non-engagement on grounds of dealing with a Nazi, bigot, racist, fascist, phobic or privileged opponent.
In this follow-up to “Woke: A Guide to Social Justice,” activist-poet Titiana stands up for the rights of minorities and decides what’s good for them because she knows better than they do. She once again throws in a spate of her imperious activist-poetry. Titiana also cautions that “any white person not being racist is committing behavioral blackface”; that “heterosexuality is the most common form of homophobia”; and that Hillary won the 2016 election “because Titiana’s lived experience tells her so.”
To wrap up, the author advises, “Before laughing at a joke, ask yourself the following: Does the joke avoid offensive subject matter? Is the comedian representative of a marginalized group? Can you be sure the comedian has never said or done anything problematic? In order to be fully inclusive, comedy clubs need to cater to those who have no sense of humor.” “My First Little Book of Intersectional Activism” has a convincing enough cover design to fool even the most discerning of woke parents shopping for their little rabble-rouser to-be.
“The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness” (Salem Books/Regnery; 200 pages) has been widely accepted as the front-runner in woke lampoon literature. Packed into 12 chapters – including flow charts, colorful graphics and a glossary of woke terms – you’ll discover the immutable tenets of social justice activism, including guidelines on Intersectionality and Identity; Feminism and Gender; Real American History; How to Take Offense to Everything; and How to Fight Fascism and Violence. Readers will glean that one of the best ways to “weed out bad ideas” is to use physical force “to make sure everyone believes the same things as you”; that the most effective way to fight extremism is to “burn books and burn down minority-owned businesses”; and that the greatest oppressors of children are their own parents.
Sadly, page 12’s “Oppression Identifier” implies that a historical scapegoat and endangered species, the Armenians, are cry-bullies who play the victim card. If that were indeed the case, we certainly would not be seeing the global establishment (and wokesters) willfully ignore yet another Armenian Genocide unfolding in real time.
If March’s Humorists are Artists Month passes you by before you can poke the woke with one of the eye-openers above, April Fool’s Day gives you a second chance to entertain yourselves and startle social justice warriors out of their safe-spaced, segregated echo chambers. While some jokes at the expense of wokeism have by now become caricatures, the prospect of consuming a pyramid of parodies augment such absurdities as a teaching moment. Down the hatch!
Lucine Kasbarian is a journalist and editorial cartoonist.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Long the world’s most Christian nation, America today is being taken over by a new “official” national religion, one being imposed on the entire populace by every major societal institution, from government, media and big tech, to academia, entertainment and business.
This new state religion is Wokeism. “Going woke” conjures up visions of someone claiming to be acutely sensitive (“awake”) to “systemic social and political injustice.” And not just alleged bigotry against blacks, but toward every other “minority” as well, from LGBT folk – especially everything transgender and “nonbinary” – to “undocumented immigrants.” All of them, being VICTIMS, intrinsically more virtuous than the shameful oppressor class: primarily heterosexual white males.
This new “woke” consciousness has turned America upside-down – from the nationwide Antifa and Black Lives Matter riots in 2020, to tearing down of historic monuments, to demanding multi-million-dollar reparation payments for blacks, to appointing transgenders as top government officials, to rampant reverse discrimination in every area of life, to the U.S. military imposing mandatory “diversity training” and transgender pronoun use on all personnel, causing recruitment to disastrously plummet.
Yet there is hope. Being “saved” – which in Wokeism is called being “woke” – is largely a matter of worshipping victimhood by becoming an “ally” and “defender” of all the many victim classes, and a determined enemy of the straight white male oppressor class. Thus, “joining the righteous” as an ally – even if one is cursed to be a straight white male – opens the door mercifully for salvation, even to the most wretched.
That is the power of the religion of Wokeism. And it’s explored as never before in the February 2023 issue of WND’s critically acclaimed monthly Whistleblower magazine. If you’ve ever wondered, for example, exactly how the most radical elements in American society are successfully pressuring the biggest corporations into adopting the most outrageous and immoral policies imaginable, even when doing so permanently damages and devalues the company, the stunning answers are in this issue of Whistleblower, titled “WOKEISM: AMERICA’S OFFICIAL STATE RELIGION.”
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